worst sexual experiance

to be fair kaz, mine doesn't clean itself, i have to do it.
i don't know if any are 'self cleaning' :?:
 
heres mine again since it had to be deleted .i was out in a pub one night and i was steaming drunk ,took this monster round back and couldnt manage it .so ****ed her of and went back to pub .anyway i was stood in all strobe lights thinking why my hand all sticky .when i could focus properly i relised by mainly white shirt was smeared in blood.i just left went home and chucked every bit of clothing in washer .
just glad i didnt feel romantic and went down on her.
week after we were out again and she come up to me in front of all lads saying your names john not wayne ,luckly i was with a guy who tells it like it is and he just said to her get message and **** off will ye
 
she could have just bit your fingers. i have been told some women have teeth down there!
not my missus though, her gums are in a right state.
 
lee gray said:
This thread is quite disgusting and makes me wonder why it was even started lol


Ehhh Lee, I think the fact it's disgusting is exactly WHY it was started! :lol:
 
tiefighterboy said:
jabbawokkie said:
I actualy thought after that just didnt feel right.seemed really tight so wondered if she had a pad or tammy in lol ....
Awesome...maybe a few midgets were hiding out in there. :D


no chance tfb ....she was a midget lol only kiddig :D
 
jabbawokkie said:
lee gray said:
This thread is quite disgusting and makes me wonder why it was even started lol



i used to drink alot of vodka and come on here 8) though how mr frothy fanny can judge :lol: :lol:

Gotta agree here... Lee your account of that (Frothy Fanjita) was probably THE most minging of all of the accounts shared here lol.
 
This thread is the apocalypse the Mayan calendar predicted!

All those doubters should have come on here yesterday!
 
Come on all the new members, someone must be able to ehhh beat Lee's effort with the frothing fanny!
 
No real cock-related mishaps for me, the benefits of being a late bloomer I guess. Worst I could say was going down on a girl after a hall party at Uni and she had a stubbly fanny. Was like snogging Clint Eastwood after he'd eaten tuna.

Worst sexual experience I've witnessed - still at Uni, 3 years later, near the end of term and my mate and his bird (underage at the time) come and stay over. In flats at the time, and most of the others have left so quite a few empty flat. So, we hand out in my room watching Big Brother (first series, 2001) drinking (now it has to be added here that my mate DOESN'T drink, total soft lad), vodka and Red Bull and he was trying to match me (and his Mrs) drink for drink.

Anyway the pair of them disappear of for a bit, and time drags on and they don't return, so I go to find them - it's not a big flat, so I first look in the room next to mine to find the pair of them half clad him from the waist upwards, her from the waist downwards. She was straddled over him cover him with piss. Needless to say I exited quick sharpish! The worst thing of it was, that he then came into my room trying to say "it's not what you think" and he still had golden drops of liquid on his chin.

Don't we have a best sexual experience thread?! I could add loads to that! :mrgreen:
 
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