jokes

[jabbawokkie]

what did jesus say to his 12 disciples as he was nailed to cross?

"dont touch me ****** easter eggs ya bastards ....i,ll be back on sunday"

 

[sith-smith]

:lol:

I might use that when i go back to school

 

[weasel]

Is this the new "bible according to Gary!?" :lol:

 

[Bollux]

of course he will tell us some more jokes, he quit the forum and only managed to stay away for two days, he wont be able to resist.

come on jabba, we dont mean to hurt your feelings you big soppy ****! :lol:

you know i am only messing ,soppy **** do you really want me to type that conversation we had after you got the han bespin

I could barely hear you let alone understand you!

 

[sith-smith]

Jabba, would that be the conversation you told me about?

 

[Bollux]

nothing wrong with being grateful!

AND very surprised!

You lot would have had something to ******* moan about if I had said it was **** and whacked it on ebay

 

[jabbawokkie]

Jabba, would that be the conversation you told me about?

mate there is text messages to back my story up :wink:

 

[jayjedi]

nothing wrong with being grateful!

AND very surprised!

You lot would have had something to ******* moan about if I had said it was **** and whacked it on ebay

how much you want for it chris ... Ã'£50 sound about right :lol:

 

[Scruffy Looking]

 

[jabbawokkie]

she would get it :wink:

 

[jayjedi]

:lol:
stupid yank

 

[weasel]

She's very flat chested for a "Hooters" employee, normally they are all siliconed up to DD's....................apparently! :wink:

 

[Bollux]

aaah Hooters, when I went to Florida with the Mrs loads of the staff were outside throwing a ball about because it was so quiet inside their bar...it was amazing to watch! so many times they had to pick the ball up! :wink: :lol: :lol:

 

[weasel]

And you just happened to leave the video camera on and pointed at them!
By "accident" of course! :wink: :lol:

 

[Bollux]

no video camera but we did go and sit outside a bar opposite! :lol:

 

[Scruffy Looking]

She's very flat chested for a "Hooters" employee, normally they are all siliconed up to DD's....................apparently! :wink:

Glad you said that, as I just thought I was being bitchy. :lol:

 

[weasel]

Nah Hooters employees, that's the first thing I check!

 

[Scruffy Looking]

Old one, but still funny.



http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=humor&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.storewars.org

 

[weasel]

Aye seen it before, pretty clever though

 

[jabbawokkie]

if mothers have mothers day
fathers have fathers day
and lovers have valitines day
what do ******s have

palm sunday :lol:

 

[jabbawokkie]

what did jesus say to his 12 disiples as they nailed him yo cross

keep of my easter eggs ya bastards ,i,ll be back on sunday

 

[han duo]

a paki comes over to england to live , after a few days in his new free house within the ethnic comunity he decides to go and thank the british people for being so kind ! ,, after wandering the streets for a while he gives up and go's home , just as hes entering his house his neigbour pops his head out of the window and says " where have you been", so the paki man says " ive been out today to try and thank the british people for giving me my house , but i cant see any , where are they all ??" ohh his neigbour replied , those daft ***** are at work !



:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[jabbawokkie]

a paki comes over to england to live , after a few days in his new free house within the ethnic comunity he decides to go and thank the british people for being so kind ! ,, after wandering the streets for a while he gives up and go's home , just as hes entering his house his neigbour pops his head out of the window and says " where have you been", so the paki man says " ive been out today to try and thank the british people for giving me my house , but i cant see any , where are they all ??" ohh his neigbour replied , those daft ***** are at work !



:lol: :lol: :lol:

very true,i take it his neighbour was a paki as well

 

[jabbawokkie]

little man sat at bar,big thug walks in and hits him to the floorand says karate chop from korea.later thug walks up and hits him again and says judo chop from japan.little bloke leaves and a few mins later comes back and smacks thug on head and knocks him out cold and says to barman when that **** wakes up tell him that was a crow bar from b+q


the queens visiting a hospital and sees a man having a ****."whats wrong with him"she asks.
to much come says doc he has to do it 5 times a day
then she sees a nurse giving a man a ******** and asks whats wrong with him.
same thing says doc ,but he,s bupa :lol:

 

[Scruffy Looking]

 

[han duo]

how did darth vader know what luke had got him for christmas ?



he felt his presents !!!!

 

[jabbawokkie]

how did darth vader know what luke had got him for christmas ?



he felt his presents !!!!

that is that bad its funny :lol: :lol:

 

[weasel]

No, that's just bad! :roll: :lol:

 

[jabbawokkie]

bloke walks in to b+q and says is this rat poison any good to rats
b+q bloke says "no,it kills em" :lol: :lol:

 

[Scruffy Looking]

My boss (Leeds fan) got the following text at the beginning of the week:

Oxo are to release a commemorative oxo cube packaged in the same colours as the Leeds United strip.

Itââ'¬â"¢s going to be called the ââ'¬ËœLaughing Stockââ'¬â"¢.


Couldn't help pi$$ing myself with laughter when she read it out, hence the number of sh!t jobs I've been given this week! :? :lol: :lol: :lol: