Social Advice please.

[Grant_C]

Guys,

I have a neighbour.

She is divorced and is as lazy as Jabba the Hutt.

Her ex-husband still comes over to look after the kids.

The divorce was triggered by his gambling problems which ended up with him locking the kids in the car for a few hours while he was in the bookies.

They have 4 kids.

The garden is a cross between a farm and a circus. Trash everywhere- leaking pipes etc....its a hazard to stray off the path or on the path in the dark.

She does not clean. The house stinks. I'm talking bad. I would not be writing this if it wasn't real bad.

My other neighbour went into her house the other day when Jabba was in hospital and she said she had to cover her mouth from being sick. Theres black 'dirt' on the walls....its to overwhelming to write in words. It something you have to see.

She even managed to kill her cat from neglect. A freakin cat!

There is the childrens playroom which is covered in dog **** and has been for a long long time.

The 4 year old wont sleep in his bed. Im guessing this is because for some reason its not comfortable.

These 4 beautiful children are neglected and at risk.

If I contact the social services, they will write a letter telling her that they will do an inspection, which means she will hide everything.

The father is renting with an unsecure income which means the kids will more likely taken off their mother and put into foster care. The foster care around here is a hit and miss apparently.

I would be grateful for any advice.

Where do you draw the line? I DO NOT want to get involved in this or the breaking up of a family. But I WILL NOT stand by as a child is neglected and s;leeping in dog ****.

 

[Caswellbot]

Absolutely report it Grant. It's important you do. If things are as bad as you say then I certainly would. The kids should come first whether that means staying in that house or not, with mum or not. Whatever happens it sounds like the family needs help. If they can't help themselves then someone has to.

Chris.

 

[Grant_C]

Thanks Chris 8) - I was unaware or ignorant to the situation until talking to a neighbour today. Im meting with some of my neighbours in 2 hours to discuss the issue.

I am keeping cool and focused, treading lightly but I am absolutely seething inside :evil: :evil: :evil:

 

[monkey_roo]

For what it is worth this is a tough one and so sucks to be involved. That said, I agree where children are involved there is no option but to get involved. However, the how is the trick.

Social services is a route but likewise understanding your neighbours situation and susspectabilty to accepting help is another. One could argue that in the spirit of community trying to come together as a neighbourhood and helping this lady get back on her feet is the idealistic option but that only works with she open to it and this behaviour is a cry for help based on what must be an horrendous time for her and her family. However, if that is a non starter then the social services is really your only option but that dosent necessarily mean the kids go to foster care forever or at all, services do exist to help family that hit hard times as well, but as my only experience with them has been when they pop round for there mandatory check after each of my kids were born I can't really comment much.

Personally I would like to think as neighbours you are able to reach out and offer understanding help before taking hard line action, but that isn't always possible.

Best of luck though.

 

[Grant_C]

Thanks Matt- 8)

Jabba is like a Jeremy Kyle episode based in Eastenders.

She has exhausted all support from neighbours and none of the neighbours will speak to her.

 

[Michael Sith]

Mate

Matt has it spot on, hold a meeting with a few neighbours and get a consensus of opinion on what to do, this will give a route, but more importantly ensure that the burden is not yours alone.

If the community approach does not work, then put a call into environmental health in regard to bad odour, again this can be done from a community perspective, ie several neighbours complaining. When the inspector turns up that should maybe alert social services as well, failing that contact social services and tell them what you know.

Bud, you are absolutely right to raise this, children's welfare is paramount, if that means that the family is broken, in order to give the kids a chance then that's the right thing to do.

Irrespective of the issues these adults have they have made choices, and they can accept help or not....the kids don't have the luxury of choice

Hope it gets sorted, and well done mate for your decent and caring attitude.

Best of luck mte

 

[Richard_H]

As a recent carer Grant you absolutely must do something. With governments cuts etc it is less likely now that kids got taken from their parents due to the associated costs. hopefully she just needs a kick up the arse.

 

[tiefighterboy]

You must report it. She can not hide the neglect to the children or the house as it sounds like a decades worth of filth. It is sad to seperate children from their mother, but she is not being a mother and obviously is not in a state to give them the bare minimum of care and more so the love and morals the kids need for a proper upbringing.

 

[JuniorChubb]

I can't really advise you on what to do Grant, but some form of action must be taken.

It looks like the wheels may be in motion just from starting this thread, the meeting with neighbours seems like a good idea. A work colleague of mine done this with a neighbour of hers before reporting neglect, her neighbour took the bull by the horns and reported it without hesitation.

Good luck mate, this is one big tin of worms, good thing is its already open.

 

[Jez]

Absolutely report it Grant. It's important you do. If things are as bad as you say then I certainly would. The kids should come first whether that means staying in that house or not, with mum or not. Whatever happens it sounds like the family needs help. If they can't help themselves then someone has to.

Chris.

Exactly what Chris has said.

It's not grassing, it's not telling tales, its potentially saving someone from goodness knows what.
Do it, and sleep soundly (better)

 

[JuniorChubb]

It's not grassing, it's not telling tales, its potentially saving someone from goodness knows what.
Do it, and sleep soundly (better)

I have got to echo this Jez.

So many people get away with shite because of this retarded grassing mentality.

 

[Grant_C]

Thanks guys- never thought of using a toy forum for social advice.

I have had a meeting with 2 neighbours who are both highly respectable people.

The conclusion is that I will approach the mother and ex-husband separately and voice that the community has concerns and that they need support especially in regards to the health and safety of the children.

It will be up to them then to turn it around knowing that any lack of action will mean that outside parties will need to be envolve.

I really don't want to be involved- but child neglect is not happening. No chance.

Blah!

 

[JuniorChubb]

I have had a meeting with 2 neighbours who are both highly respectable people.

What are they doing talking to you then?

 

[Grant_C]

:lol:

I'm the muscle :lol:

 

[Richard_H]

The guy from the mr muscle adverts? You could sort her house out. Been on the like out for a vcj while you're there.

 

[Grant_C]

:lol:

Start in the attic- that where the buggers are.

 

[Michael Sith]

You know what mat e, if more people took the initiative like you are, the social issues would not be as much of an issue as they are, lack of cash, and vision by successive governments have all added to the rise of child neglect, so I applaud you and thank you for getting involved, we can all learn from your example mate.. Big respect

 

[Jez]

The guy from the mr muscle adverts? .

Did you know the guy who played the original Mr Muscle was the same guy who played Squid Head? Gerald Home.

Really nice guy, I met him at CE2.

Everything boils down to Star Wars!

 

[Grant_C]

REALLY? :shock: :lol:

This is squid head!!!???

Ironic that scott is collecting these.

[youtube]QJlvLl-eXU0[/youtube]

 

[Jez]

The very same!
Don't you remember? He was so onside, gave me 2 extra autographs for Leo.
He's also on RS (he told me).
I love the irony about Scott!

Anyway, back on topic...