The prequel trilogy made the ewoks ultra cool. Before it came out, I was always a little nervous about even stating that ROTJ was a serious star wars film. Most people of my vintage just said Empire and Star Wars were the films.
heres my rewriting of the PT.. always fancied doing a rewrite.. here's my amateur attempt. Only read it if you are really, really really bored. I mean, really bored.. I just got carried away really..
episode 1 - The Phantom Menace
Through the force, the jedi order are alerted to this destructive teenager on a far off planet (not Tatooine). Yoda and Obi wan go off to find him. We get to see how powerful yoda is as when he finds this guy, he's literally ripping buildings and scenery to shreds in anger. Yoda has to try and get through to him, as he's spinning out of control using raw force power. We find that his girlfriend and mother and all the women in his village have been kidnapped by slavers (or something). After winning his trust and stopping him with opposing powers (real epic scenes of danger), Yoda takes him off the planet back to the jedi temple. Anakin manages to tune into the force, take control of the ship and goes after the slavers. He disables yoda and he tracks the pirate/slave ship down. He causes so much mayhem that his mother is killed in a hostage situation. He then goes apeshit on everybody there, tearing into the whole ship killing pretty much anybody.. yoda recovers just in time to prevent him crushing the entire planet as he cant actually control his raw use of the force. Obi wan wins the day by finding his girlfriend (Padme) and it calms him down. love story - thats the pay off so that he doesn't wipe out small moons when he gets in a mardy fit. Obiwan admits that whilst it's (knobbing birds) against the jedi way, we have to rethink etc..
The jedi order are seen to be harbouring a terrorist of sorts and are warned this youth cannot be controlled and the jedi order are seen as a danger. The Senate leader who states this, is then revealed to be only a weak minded puppet, controlled by a shady figure (darth sidious) in a hologram. An already produced clone army will be used to stand up against the jedi and remove them to allow the senate to rule unopposed - in a democratic way. The film ends with shots of Anakin being trained alongside the amassing of vast clone forces.
No Binks, midichlorians, trade federations, Boss Nass or silly Queens. Lots of destruction.. Padme can be a hot peasant girl..
episode 2 - The clone wars
Anakin and Obi wan buddy movie.
Anakin is attacked during jedi training in the temple by two sith apprentices, in the battle, Anakin levels several blocks and destroys a part of the city. Killing the sith, but this is used to reveal the Jedi as dangerous and uncontrollable.
Darth Sidious using his puppet Senate leader has revealed an enormous clone army and it smashes the crap out of coruscant and attacks the jedi order. Sidious and his apprentice (
i didnt mind darth maul, but the clone wars version was the better one.. he was a nasty bastard) takes the senate over, police state-stylee, and instructs to 'anyone who cares' for the safety of one and all that the jedi must be wiped out, everyone agrees (with guns to the head). The senate leader is murdered by Sidious.
Jedi v Clones, lots of war and loads of death, planets getting ****ed over as it appears an unlimited amount of clones are unleashed to hunt and kill the jedi.
The Jedi flee and send out a beacon to warn the jedi to regroup. Yoda and Anakin using Bail Organa's inside links go to coruscant to kill sidious and his apprentice as the only way to end the war. We have an epic face off across the city, and see the monster powers of Yoda and Sidious as they go face to face and the apprentice and anakin go at it. anakin kills the apprentice in a blink of an eye and goes to help Yoda, as they combine to defeat sidious, he manages to get into anakins head and puts visions of padme dying. Distracted, sidious frazzles both yoda and anakin with lightening and escapes.
With anakin mortified at what he's seen, they retreat as more clones in star destroyers and huge battle ships take over coruscant, burn down the temple and we see Jedi temples and dead Jedi across the galaxy. Yoda has a sad face..
No cloud cows, lots of WARS, a bit of senate stuff, but more political betrayal.. real downer to the ending.. ala ESB.
episode 3. The last stand
starts on a barren planet with the last of the jedi having amassed. anakin is refusing to use his powers, padme is now preggers, and states he wants to live a peaceful life, away from war etc. Obi wan warns him that his link to the force is too strong and must stay. Anakin becomes angry resentful and is never happy with the arrangement. He never asked to be a Jedi and now everyone is in danger because of him. the vision from sidious still haunts him and he's not shared it with yoda.
force users are being hunted down by yoda and obi wan and trained. we are led to believe a new jedi order is in place, but yoda realises whilst sidious is around, the jedi will not be able to sleep easy and must prepare to be fighters and destroy sidious and his huge army. Anakin and obi wan do not think it can be done and suggest the jedi order disbands. sidious has won. but yoda is not having it, "fight we must.. the dark side cannot be allowed to win etc "
Anakin and Padme have been talking and Anakin convinces himself with the encouragement of his 'about to burst girlfriend' that the only way to stop this if he confronts Sidious and kills him. he escapes and heads to coruscant. Padme is certain of Anakin's powers and wants him to end this.
we have an epic space battle where Anakin mashes loads of clone fighters, flys into a star destroyer and takes it over. He flies hell bent towards coruscant. a glorious battle with star destroyers ensues and even though damaged, he crashes it into the city and as he gets angrier the more awesome the scenes. its a face off between Sidious and Anakin. Sidious questions why he is not with his wife as she is in danger being looked after by the jedi order which will soon be extinct. "You should have left with her when you had the chance, the jedi will be responsible for her death. only by using the dark side can you save her from her fate, i have shown you the future." Anakin again has the vision and this time its real. the New Jedi order are being attacked
"join me and her death will just be a vision... "
Anakin panics and the anger starts to build. "join me boy, end the jedi order and you'll no longer live in fear" with sidious goading anakin, he explodes in force lightning screaming angrily
cut to Padme screaming on an operating table giving birth with some crappy droids helping. then the jedi order are attacked at night by a clone army, the building is damaged and Padme is injured and trapped. Padme has given birth to luke and leia, and she screams for the babies to be protected. obi wan confers with Yoda that the only hope for future jedi might be in those children and they must be protected. Yoda takes the babies and escapes as the Jedi cover him as they prepare to die. obi wan asks her where is Anakin, as she drifts off..
theres a rumbling and the clones stop shooting. Sidious and Anakin land and Anakin is crackling with force lightning
he screams as he marches towards the hold out, Obi Wan is there. they argue and Anakin rages that if the Jedi had allowed him to leave she would be fine.. he aims force lighting at obi wan and he defends himself and they fight for a while, Sidious retreats as it all kicks off again. the building protecting padme is destroyed and anakin stops and falls to his knees.. he can feel that Padme has died - he explodes in anger - tearing the planet apart as the planet starts to implode obi wan pleads to him to stop and see sense.. fire is everywhere, obi wan is terrified.. him and anakin then battle it out trying to get to a ship, clone troopers are falling into the firey planet core. Anakin stands watching obiwan escape into the sky in a ship as flames engulf him as she shouts how much he hates him and blames him..
sidious returns for anakin and we cut to the darth vader assemblage, but theres no screaming, just sidious coaching him in his new persona. "we will hunt the Jedi pestilience and eradicate if from the galaxy", "yes my master" Darth agrees, with a very sad but determined tone.
No saying NOOO, no Binks, no trade federation, no arise lord vader, no killing kids.
