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Wife never gets me what I ask for.i asked for a belt for me birthday .she got me one that wastwo small .took Iit back got me a hoodie and t shirt..........I needed a ****ing belt

This is inspired by lee.s moan bout present . Firstly I try not to open present in front of giver in case its **** as I cant pretend its best present ever. So whats ye worst present ever. Mines prob a pair of gloves a aunty gave me that didnt fit and I had to stand in front of jer trying to...

Whats E.T short for. Because his legs are small What did santa say to mrs santa when he lookedout window Looks like reindeer

You bunch of ungrateful bastards

:? :?

he hides behimd keyboard cause he has a cock where his nose should be.750 a good price I sold one last year for three grand. Keyboard warriors unite

Well thats ****ing cheered me right up :lol:

Wifes 34 :wink: Weasel ..forgot bout gustie he was a good laugh. Wifes doing me a party next year ......80.s themed .could be crazy and just invite all forum lol

Ha I agree with ye both .mike I try to live by your advice.jc I.m spending alot of time at gym ha

By end of night I was that pissed (my mate jager turned up).I would of look ok in moonraker jumpsuit

Ha wrong pigs .as for vodka that the drink I loved until that one bad experience where ever time its offered I feel sick lol

I bought a handkerchief for my suit other day.Put it in a small bag then put it in either one of three places I would find it.One of them was on top of draws which was last choice as wife would have moaned as clutter. Anyway after smashing house to bits on day of wedding I found it in another...

Turn forty next year and it is playing on me mind and how I would love to turn clock back but would you be who you are if you never made a mistake.any way to make things worst just noticed I joined this site in 2006.was on old site prob a year so 9 years .where the **** did that go .some of old...

Xmas eve I will be drinking brandy as tradition . Up xmas day. Put pig in. (No one does pig as good as me) dash round family then pub =beer + more brandy then inlaws and abuse pig and turkey ((which is still running round allotment anf I called him fred as he soon to be dead ha) fall yo sleep...

I.m beyong grand master lol........should be demoted as those days are gone .relised even figs of cards aren't guaranteed to be minty

Would be great for a game to come out that was the film story lines and you could just explore

It missed last rule Must be hung like a national winner

I got 1300 back after they took a cut.know loads of people who got sone back.if youve had loads of loans .credit cards it def be worth doing. Also each time I took a loan .credit card I never took protection bit they slyed it on

I just cleaned van out and chucked about four........theres a guy at top of our street thats got a sign outside house ...old tax discs 20p each

I.ve got both kids names and dob.s on each arm .cant do owt with daughters as not seen her for 5 years thanks to my darling ex wife . Lad comes all time and loves sw so thinking of getting rebel logo above his