Your SWFUK Competition Winner is.....MarkG

[lejackal]

The people have chosen their champion.....Congratulations to MarkG!

Now as I'm somewhat indecisive we have a tie to be decided upon by popular vote - what could possibly go wrong :roll:

First Up this effort from threaders20

His temperament is coarse,
And he raves on about the force,
Which has guided him through each and every caper.
The dark side is his essence,
And you can bet he's felt your presence
Cause he's known as Lord Darth Vader

and secondly this from MarkG

There once was a boy called Ben
Who renamed himself Kylo Ren
He turned very bad
And killed his dad
In 2017 he'll be back once again.

the last day for voting will be next Saturday 9th July 2016 and should the result be tied I'll split the prize.

That's right, completely free, I'll even cover postage 8)

Now the catch, as the art is by our resident wordsmith Mike Sith I thought it would be good if we could rustle up some Star Wars poetry, limericks or maybe just a bloody good joke or amazing anecdote.

Obviously the best one will be the winner but 'best' for something like this is subjective so please don't be offended if I end up picking the fart joke over the lyrical masterpiece :lol:

The only rules are the work must ideally be original and not copied and pasted, must be Star Wars related and must be submitted as a reply to this thread before the 1st July 2016.

MTFBWY

Carl

 

[Frunkstar]

Generous Carl & great idea, looks like Mike will be getting his work back then as he will no doubt out master us all with a ditty, good luck everyone.

I shall abstain though

 

[lejackal]

I'll start things off

There was a young boy called Luke,
Hunted yet not found, a fluke?
Should've hired a top class spook
Instead they used a kook
Who is no more following a Vader Rebuke

 

[lejackal]

Generous Carl & great idea, looks like Mike will be getting his work back then as he will no doubt out master us all with a ditty, good luck everyone.

I shall abstain though

C'mon Frank, you must be able to rustle up a sheep joke :wink:

 

[indianawars]

I ate a Star Wars figure the other day... It was a little chewie.

 

[robpmarsh]

Q: Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree?

A: It was dead!

 

[threaders20]

Hi. I'm in
His temperament is coarse,
And he raves on about the force,
Which has guided him through each and every caper.
The dark side is his essence,
And you can bet he's felt your presence
Cause he's known as Lord Darth Vader

I was going to do more, by got stuck, if anyone fancies adding something, be my guest, cheers, Jonathan

 

[MarkG]

There once was a boy called Ben
Who renamed himself Kylo Ren
He turned very bad
And killed his dad
In 2017 he'll be back once again.

Or something like that..

 

[Hooch]

A story of a guy named Hooch
No lady would give him a smooch
He then found a lass
With a very fine ass
And now she tickles his gooch :wink:

 

[indianawars]

A story of a guy named Hooch
No lady would give him a smooch
He then found a lass
With a very fine ass
And now she tickles his gooch :wink:

:lol: :lol: Winner for me!

 

[BlueDog]

A story of a guy named Hooch
No lady would give him a smooch
He then found a lass
With a very fine ass
And now she tickles his gooch :wink:

:lol: :lol: :lol: Winner winner chicken dinner! Oh **** did I just enter?

 

[tiefighterboy]

I bent my probot in the hole of a very angry robot, he turned and said with a grin, get your chrome dome lobot out of my bin.

 

[rdpla]

There once was a member could Rob
who everyone thought was a big knob
I dont know why,
members star wars items he would buy
but people still wanna smack him in the gob.

 

[rdpla]

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away
A princess is rescued, a boy named Luke saves the day.
His destiny to fight the dark side, come what may.
Dog fights, lasers . cannons a blazing
For 1977, the special effects are amazing.
The death star is destroyed, hooray, is there any more?
We want a follow up to episode 4
The audience is cheering, ranting and raving
George makes a sequel, to satisfy their craving
The next installment, excitement it wont lack
and I shall name it The Empire Strikes Back.
This time the bad guys, they will uprise
and right at the end, you`re in for a surprise
You say you want to know now, ok , don't get in a lather,
Darth cuts off Luke`s hand and says I`m your father.
Now we have to wait for 2 years more
to see what happened to Han and whats in store
George thinks revenge or return, he cant decide
Now we have to wait longer, my tears I cant hide.
Now we are teens, there`s a stirring in our crutch
It`s Leia`s bikini, it really is too much.
The movies heroes are ewoks, cute cuddly little bears
but all I think of is leias bikini, so who really cares.
Over the years, the fight between good and evil continues
but no comment here sorry, due to all the bad reviews.
George says his favourite character was jar jar binks
claims he was misquoted, that's not what everyone thinks
George is old school, his days are gone
Hes replaced by JJ, I think that's stands for John
Now we have The Force Awakens, movie number 7
I go to see it, and again I`m in heaven
all the gang are there, and darth vader too
I enjoyed the movie but maybe a bit déjà vu
And those fiends at Disney, I really do hate
They`ve delayed the release of film no. 8
when we were boys, our collections we did start
and after all these years, we`re still boys at heart
For 40 years now, figures we have been collecting
but now its our money, we take care when selecting
the wife says a grand for a jawa, whats the big deal
honey. it's a graded vinyl cape one, 1K`s a steal

So this is where my story must end
Please share with others, don't be shy to send
Mr Jackal, I really want to win that boba fett
Rob, I cant hear the fat lady, you aint won yet..

 

[Michael Sith]

The Star Wars saga is seminal indeed,
From the shackled restraints film making was freed,
A behemoth set forth which would carry generations,
Of cinema goers to amazing locations,
With images, characters and sensation galore,
Each time leaving us wanting more and more,
But aside from that, for men girls an boys,
Was the arrival of these amazing toys,
To this day we wonder, are amazed and aghast,
Gives collectors a feeling we have till our final breath it will last,
We revisit our childhood,from bondage released,
Of our adult pressure, temporarily worry is ceased,
Like minded cohorts of men full grown,
Have a passion for memories and figures to own,
We are comrades, a band of merry men,
Fans of Luke, Han, Leia and old ben,
More than this it awakens a part of the soul,
Where kindness resides within us all,
SWFUKERS unite is the rally call :!:

I have excused myself from the competition :lol:

 

[Section 8]

NEWS FLASH

Anakin caught forcing his cock into Padme's mouth. A spokesperson for the Jedi Council said it was an abuse of his powers.

 

[lejackal]

He killed a Tusken Raider with his lightsaber,
He's not little Ani but the Dark Lord Vader,
Don't adhere to the light,
Grow a pair, learn to fight,
It's a walk in the park
When you're a slave to the dark
Now don't be shy,
Give this competition a try

 

[lejackal]

Still time to enter guys

 

[lejackal]

Not much interest left in the Football so someone must have a minute to enter this

 

[x-pack]

I bent my probot in the hole of a very angry robot, he turned and said with a grin, get your chrome dome lobot out of my bin.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Winner for me. I nearly spat my brew out!