worst sexual experiance

[jabbawokkie]

ok who wants to kick of

 

[craignwo4life]

Why don't you start us off Jabba...... :wink:

 

[Bollux]

Mine would have to be my first time!

Tried my hardest all night with this girl.

The pair of us staying up talking **** until 4am ish i think. I had to listen to a lot of old bollocks in desperation of a shag!

when finally i got to cop a feel! huge breasts!

i finally got to the point where we were shagging and i must have lasted a good 30 seconds!

the next morning - her "not going to call me are you?"
me - "no, no"
her - "why not?"
me - "i dont have your number and its probably best that way eh?"
her - no answer just a slammed door!

 

[Bollux]

jabba!

thats disgusting!

:shock:

 

[jayjedi]

just be thankful you never went down :lol:

 

[jabbawokkie]

you lasted 30 seconds your first time ..you stud,i think i come soon as my dick felt that lovely warmth

 

[craignwo4life]

Pretty soon Edd's gonna have to put an "Adults Only" sign on this site!! :lol:

In all honesty I don't think I've ever had a bad experience, although some of the women might disagree!!

 

[Bollux]

Kelly would be an awful experience!

sorry Craig!

 

[Bollux]

nice one Jabba!

at least you got a blowie!

 

[jayjedi]

ok lads bit of a long one , story that is
i am 14 and get my first shag on holiday in wales night before we come home. everything went fine but balls ached a bit , thought it was just normal
next morning woke up in pain and thought something must be wrong, but we travelled 6 hours home and bollock pain was getting worse.
dad took me to doctors when we returned and 30 minutes later i am being sedated in pilgrim hospital.
when i awoke the pain had gone , as had my pubic hair ( at 14 at a boys grammer school it was a great concern to me).
the next day, when my parents were there, the doctor came round with his fit as **** junior nurse, i was made to expain what had happened ( should have seen the look on my mums face, and the smile on my dad's)

then comes the worse bit, after being told by the doctor that i had "tortion of the testicle" ( twisted bollock) it was his junior nurses job to cup my bollocks to make sure the nut was in the correct position , in full view of my mum, this gorgous young nurse is caressing my sack .
i had to wiggle my toes so fast to stop the little man from standing to attention in front of everyone.
i will never forget that day, it was a year before i had sex again

 

[sith-smith]

just be thankful you never went down :lol:

You ain't gonna like my story then.

 

[edd_jedi]

mine would probably be getting it on in the back of my ford orion when i was 18. we were parked down the beach, and a police car drove straight past us really slowly. luckily they didn't stop, but i'm sure they saw exactly what was going on

 

[jabbawokkie]

just be thankful you never went down :lol:

You ain't gonna like my story then.

oh dear please dont tell me you got jam in your mouth gaz

 

[sith-smith]

and no bread.
:evil:

 

[jabbawokkie]

thats bad

 

[sith-smith]

oh my god yes.

 

[jabbawokkie]

oh my god yes.

no i mean just when you need some hovis thick sliced :lol: :lol:

 

[sith-smith]

She had a nice pair of baps though

 

[TWOFOOT]

I tend to block out bad experiences. Thats the wonder of alcohol.

 

[sith-smith]

I don't have that as an excuse or a remedy for bad memories.