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Leigh77-85

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Dec 4, 2015
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I have been collecting for a couple of years now and just love it.

I divorced 7 years ago and have had a new girlfriend for about a year.

She has been hinting about moving in with me which is a subject I have been avoiding.

Then she dropped the bombshell. Of course if I move in you will need to sell the Star Wars stuff.

She's gone now!
 
Good call! Sounds like a control freak your best of out of that for sure. Most other halfs are accomodating when it comes to hobbies its part of who you are...
 
Talk about dodging a bullet, she did you a huge favour letting her feelings known before she had moved in.
 
Sounds to me like you're still hung up on her, you need proper closure - post up some naked pictures of her and you'll feel much better
 
Perhaps I could use the photos in the swap shop as a bit of leverage. Might be able to get myself a MOC for them
 
Hello mate, welcome! Quick question - is your username because your name's Leigh? Or anything to do with where you live, Leigh (on sea), Essex?

By the way, any chick who won't tolerate the Star Wars/collecting... nah! :D
 
Ha! What a cheeky control freaky cow :!: :!:
She hadn't even moved in and she is trying to tell u how it is :!:

You got out of there b4 u got in right trouble :!:

Good for u pal :D
 
I've been there mate, twice :D
I guess it depends on a couple of things like how big is your collection and the value of it. If The collection is only worth £300- £400 then surely that can't be an issue with any one you go out with and the other point in my experience is that they will put up with what you already have when you meet them but if you continue to spend while you are going out, then this can be a problem :oops:
Ideally you both should be into the same things but it doesn't always work out like that. When the two girls that it didn't work out with first saw my collection, at first they were stunned and I have a huge amount (about £12000 worth :) ) but when you tell them how much it's worth their eyes light up and they immediately start thinking of what they could do with all that money. Nice holidays, nice car etc, but they don't appreciate its your cash they will be spending and chances are that if you did sell for that reason, once the money's been spent they would leave anyway :evil:
That said, I have tried to see things from a woman's perspective and have wondered what it would be like if it was the other way around? I went out with someone once who collected dolls house stuff and it wasn't vintage it was just the stuff you can buy today. It was horrible, dolls in period costumes with frilly dresses and the houses etc. I tried to look for some reasoning but to me it was just crap and there is no way I would want that on display in my house and none of it was worth anything or was likely to become worth anything in the future.
So I guess the girls you are serious about have to either like starwars or appreciate its value and realise the investment being made. I've always said that I would only part with my collection if the money raised would be put toward a deposit on a house or to pay for my kids university fees if or when I have kids. Otherwise it stays put.
It's not nice when a relationship ends whatever the reason but you should never be made to feel guilty for having an interest in something and I'm sure there are people out there who spend there time and money on far worse things.
 
My name is Leigh. I am from Maidstone in Kent. New to the site and love this forum it's great.

To be totally honest I didn't want her to move in anyway.

Been there and done it twice and have 3 children.

I love doing what I want now and collecting Star Wars my favourite childhood film (first film I saw at the cinema with my Dad)

Thanks for all the responses I was a bit nervous about posting this.

Just thought it might make a few people laugh
 
For me it's always been made clear from the start that my collection never goes until I decide it is is time.

It's my money and I would never spend on it when money needs to be spent elsewhere so no reason for it to concern her.

If it's an issue she knows how it will end.

Luckily it's never been an issue. In most cases they've been highly supportive.

My love of star wars is part of me. So love me...accept that. End of!
 
Realistically, the majority of women you meet aren't going to be into Star Wars nor are they going to particularly appreciate or encourage you even if they "let" you continue collecting. It's money and time at the end of the day and collecting definitely takes from both your wallet and your free time!

In a way, I suppose collecting is also incredibly selfish too (which I think upsets women quite a bit). It's definitely one of those hobbies that we mostly do on our own and almost always for ourselves (talking about hunting things down, buying things and displaying them).

Lets be honest (even though it's pretty bad to admit) I'm pretty sure most of us would rather spend £100 on a carded figure that we stick on a shelf in an acrylic case just to look out instead of spending £100 on a night out or treat for the Mrs :lol:

threaders20 said:
I
That said, I have tried to see things from a woman's perspective and have wondered what it would be like if it was the other way around? I went out with someone once who collected dolls house stuff and it wasn't vintage it was just the stuff you can buy today. It was horrible, dolls in period costumes with frilly dresses and the houses etc. I tried to look for some reasoning but to me it was just crap and there is no way I would want that on display in my house and none of it was worth anything or was likely to become worth anything in the future.
Click to expand...

It's always important to think about things from their point of view otherwise you'll always be single! If I am honest, if my other half was even remotely as obsessive and involved with one of her hobbies as I am with Star Wars then nothing in this house would get done :lol: So even though the ones that stick by us roll their eyes and don't really get into it, you have to give them credit for not just walking out the door one day or setting fire to it all :lol:

I think it's bad that someone would suggest you sell your stuff though, especially as a condition of moving in :shock: so you definitely dodged a bullet there. The only solution really is to find someone who is happy for you to have a collection and be involved in collecting as long as you understand that slowing down a bit with your spending and/or cutting down the amount of time you do things relating to collecting is beneficial in the long run for a relationship to work.

End of the day we know deep down that all women need to feel appreciated and if they are happy to let us collect then they definitely deserve some appreciation!
 
I am lucky that my lady actually likes Star Wars and doesnt mind my buying vintage. Shes even bought me a vintage complete boxed falcon for xmas. I dont think anyone should compromise that signifcantly for a relationship. If something means a lot to you, she should understand and not try to change your passions.
 
sith-smith said:
For me it's always been made clear from the start that my collection never goes until I decide it is is time.

It's my money and I would never spend on it when money needs to be spent elsewhere so no reason for it to concern her.

If it's an issue she knows how it will end.

Luckily it's never been an issue. In most cases they've been highly supportive.

My love of star wars is part of me. So love me...accept that. End of!
Click to expand...


That last bit you wrote Gary, about Star Wars being part of you.

After previous a relationship, I know how lucky I am to have found someone who says those very words.
Jeez she even let's me have my MOC and signed pics on display in our lounge :D

Not letting this one go, she's amazing :D
 
Honestly, if a girl is aware of the collection, it is up to them if they want to accept it as part of the person they're dating, or leave the relationship. It is unfair for someone to try and change who someone is. It'll just lead to regret and bitterness, and is a sign of more control issues in the future.

Ian
 
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