Best-man speech

[weasel]

I got the pleasure of TRYING to make a ****ing best mans speech on Wednesday afternoon. Can't say I'm looking forard to it!
Last time I had to speak in public I called someone a "fat ****ing ****" (excuse my French Edd). So I'm dreading this, I have a habit of swearing like a trooper at the best of times (as you might have noticed) so god only knows how I'm get through a speech without swearing once.

Anyone done it before, got any ideas/suggestions?

 

[han duo]

first of all there are books online which you can get tips from (even writen for you) but what i'd say is get a bullit point card , and write down a few words on each subjuet you chose just to jogg your memorie..

good luck !

 

[weasel]

Aye, I had a look at a few sites online (non porn ones) and I have the speech written just gotta learn it and NOT SWEAR!

 

[jabbawokkie]

my beat mans speech was great he had a video screen set up and had pictures of me and kaz growing up then finished with one of all the family.
i had mine written down ,but kazzas dads was so heart warming i stood up screwed mine up said thats a waste of time then thanked everyone for coming ,told them to enjoy day and sat back down .
i was full of confidence until i sat down and saw a room full of people in front of me ,and some **** turned the heating up to cook while it was my speech for some reason :roll:

 

[craignwo4life]

Wednesday ?!! :shock:

Why have you left it so late to write it ?!! :lol:

You could always just tell some of Jabba's jokes !! :wink:

 

[weasel]

Oh it's written, and I know most of it now.
Just spoken to the Groom and he happened to mention that apparently I'm master of ceromonies (spelt wrong, I think) as well! NIce of him to give me such a heads up! :roll:

Think I'll pass on using Jabba's jokes! :lol:

 

[Bollux]

What about a few, "shame your new wife isn't as young and fit as mine is" OR "Don't worry son you can trade her in for a younger model"

She would love that :mrgreen:

 

[Jukesy]

Good luck with the speech mate, i had to neck a couple of pints before i made mine

 

[weasel]

Well, got it over and done with. THANK ****!

Only, offended half the people in the room.
The Joke about shagging a 14 year old didn't go down to well (some people seemed to think I was serious, God knows why!) nor did the one about wanking, but still.

NEVER doing it again though, IF anyone is ever dumb enough to ask me again I'm telling them where to go.